People are Mirrors to Ourselves

“When we realise that our relationship breakdowns (platonic/ romantic) are mirrors to ourselves, we receive the lesson quicker so that the healing work can begin.”

– Ash Alves

One thing that I’ve been exploring recently is the notion that people are mirrors to ourselves. After reading the work of Debbie Ford, Iyanla Vanzant and Jung, I started to resonate with this perspective that people are mirrors. This perspective has transformed my perspective on life, making me more accepting of the wholeness of who I am- the loving, caring, intuitive, smart, spiritual me and also the jealous, controlling, lazy aspects of me.

What does ‘people are mirrors to ourselves’ mean? 

What you like and dislike in others is a direct reflection of you. Your perception of the world, the characteristics traits that you possess, your core wounds, your needs, desires, your likes and dislikes are all reflected through your interactions with others. Essentially people are mirrors to you means that there’s something to be learned about yourself in others.

An example of this can be seen in our friendships. You may be close friends with someone because you share similar interests in leisure and ways you access joy. Your friend is a mirror of your childlike desire to have fun and explore. Another example can be someone who’s an empath being in a relationship with a narcissist. Likewise, being an empath in a relationship with a narcissist can reflect your lack of boundaries and your need to use others to fill a void. People mirror to us either healed or unhealed aspects about ourselves.

Benefits of seeing people as mirrors:

You realise that not everything is personal- Instead of constantly pointing out the faults in others, you are more willing to focus on yourself. You begin to see that you can only control yourself. You will also realise that people are operating on different levels of consciousness and that oftentimes, people are treating you based on their own perceptions of life and their moral compass.

You realise your spiritual purpose- Every experience we go through, whether positive or negative exists to teach us a greater lesson about ourselves. The mission is to become our highest selves and make better decisions in this life. To become a fully integrated soul, we have to take an honest look at ourselves and take responsibility for the ways we show up in the world.

You will spend more time cultivating self-love- You will spend a lot less time trying to fix others and more about doing the work required to live a more satisfying life. By focusing on what we have to do personally, we become more equipped to deal with life challenges that arise.

With that being said, I am relatively new to exploring this perspective so my thoughts on this topic are subject to change. However, what I have currently learned has really changed my life in a positive way.

Question: What is your perspective on the phrase ‘people are mirrors’?

I am always open to expanding my perspective so I would love to hear your thoughts!

Love Ash, x 

10 responses to “People are Mirrors to Ourselves”

  1. Yes!!! I sincerely believe this is why relationship with others is so important. You get to see your own projections reflected back to you. That’s, of course, if I pay attention, which most of the time I’m not. But am working on it!!! Love this. Take care of you.

    1. Thank you Bryan for reading this post!! Yes I totally resonate with you. It’s not always something that I’m consciously playing attention to but when I reflect on it, I learn so much about myself. Hope you have a great week and sending love your way 🧡

  2. The law of correspondence is one of the 7 hermetic principles of the universe that says :” As within , so without .”

    1. Yes totally agree! I’m going to look into that, thank you 😊🧡

  3. i definitely agree with the phrase. its through our relationships with others that we learn about ourselves and how we respond to different stimuli. we learn things that we couldnt learn about ourselves in isolation. so like you say, people definitely serve as mirrors because the more we are around ppl and the closer we are to people, we can truly see ourselves for who we are – if we’re honest

    1. I totally agree Sierra! And there’s a reason why we were drawn towards them too. So it’s good to explore how other people are mirroring other and especially when identifying breakdowns in our bonds. Thank you for sharing your thoughts 🧡

  4. The phrase “show me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are” speaks some form of truth in this article. I love who you shared how mirroring people can point out what we are lacking, what we want to improve on and similar interest with others. I truly enjoyed reading this.
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts! 🙂

    1. Oh that’s so true! I just realised how much the two are similar. I truly believe in that saying. Thank you for reading this and have a great week <3 🙂

  5. […] I talk about it, think about it, dream about it incessantly. I guess its probably because as a human, we often get to know ourselves through the lens of who we are in relationships, and overarchingly how we react or act in certain scenarios. Who we are in solitude is in essence the makeup of our true self, yet, just like any type of matter, with no stimuli we can not really be properly defined. Its only through ones reactive properties or when making contact with other things, repeatedly, can one definitively describe anything. I read something recently by Ash Alves along those lines called People Are Mirrors to Ourselves. […]

    1. Thank you so much for sharing! Totally agree with your perspective. It’s through being in the presence of others that we can begin to know ourselves. Glad this resonates with you ☺️🧡

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