Fear of not being Good Enough

Copy of The ugly truth about self love (5)

Living in your passion is what many of us strive to achieve in this life. When you decide to take that first step into doing what you love, it can be the most liberating feeling ever. However doing something out of your comfort zone and playing bigger than ever before can evoke unintended feelings of inadequacy. You find that the very thing you’re passion about is shared among other people. You find yourself competing among people who are very established in your industry and appear to have it all figured out.

I’ve had my fair share of negative experiences when trying to finally show myself to the world and step into my passion/s (politics, blogging). One instance that stuck with me was going to a networking event which turned out to be more like a popularity contest. If you didn’t dress a certain way or have a social media following, you were quite frankly overlooked and ignored. As someone who had just started putting myself out there I quickly felt like I didn’t belong and started believing that I lacked the ability to be successful. This experience in particular made me scared to put myself out there in fear of rejection. But by suppressing what I loved I missed out on some good opportunities that could have been beneficial to my personal growth and development.

At the beginning of the year I decided that I wasn’t going to hide away any longer just because I’m new to an industry/space. Even if I’m only recognised by a few I told myself I would produce unapologetically. This gave birth my blogging journey which I put off for a few years. I was adamant not to let anyone make me feel like I don’t belong. To test this new mantra I started going to a few events/talks that I’m passionate about so that I could better my craft. My highlight so far this year was going to my first my bloggers event called #blackbloggersuk where I met some amazing, genuine people.

These are a few words of advice I am interchangeably learning from others and through my own experiences:

1. We all start from somewhere- Whether you’re trying to grow a business, a blog or break into a particular industry, we all start from somewhere. A lot of people who you perceive as successful have been doing the work for many years and built their way up. You can’t compare the beginning or interim part of your journey to someone who’s been in the game longer than you.  And yes there will be people who receive their lucky break overnight or at a quicker pace than you through connections or by chance. However just because someone’s got their quicker than you, it doesn’t mean you won’t either. Our journeys aren’t meant to look the same. Trust that your journey will lead you to somewhere profound.

2. There’s room for all of us to win- Don’t let anyone make you feel like you don’t belong. Conflated egos and huge personalities can sometimes makes us feel inferior and as though we are playing where we don’t compete. Remember that just by virtue of being your true self, you have something special to add to any space you’re entering!

3. Feel the fear and do it anyways- It can be super scary getting out of your comfort zone. You might have to start talking to people you never imagined, or go to that networking event and finally promote that business you’ve been planning for years. The fear of failure can force us into convincing ourselves that it’s not worth stepping into our passion or stalling for the ‘right time’. But remember that any loss you take you can rise back from. You have to believe that no failure is big enough to stop you from living your potential. You don’t want to live your life constantly regretting your inaction so just what you love anyways and have faith that things will eventually figure itself out.

4. Every mistake is a lesson- Your blog layout isn’t the best (coming for myself lol) or you’re unsure whether your mixtape bangs. But who said you’re going to figure out everything overnight? Don’t be afraid to try different things and see what works for you. All the mistakes/ misjudgments you make will be a lessons that can be used to your benefit. Instead of striving for perfection, just experiment. Remember this is a learning process so don’t be harsh on yourself!

Have you ever experienced this feeling before?

What advice would you give to someone who’s starting a new career/hobby and feelings out of place?

Leave your thoughts!


Copyright © AshAlves 2018, All Rights Reserved

19 responses to “Fear of not being Good Enough”

  1. I loved this post! It has inspired me to edit my cv and to really be honest and positive about where I am and my passion 💕 thank you

    1. That’s Amazing! Go for it because you never know what blessing that might come your way . I’m rooting for you. Thanks for reading 🤗💕

  2. Excellent post, Ash.

    To answer your question, I’d say that #3 “Feel the fear and do it anyways” is a good starting point. We’re don’t like to admit our fears because we believe them to be a sign of weakness. Fear is the stuff of courage.

    Know that, as you take your first step forward, you may not have all the skills necessary to attain your final goal/dream/passion. Nevertheless, believe in your ability to take each step forward, however long it takes. You set the pace. Pay no heed to naysayers who lack your courage to pursue their dreams/passion.

    1. Yes I love how you said that in relation to how we perceive fear. I think we also have this desire for perfection but it’s about taking steps towards your goals/passion even if it takes you longer than others. Thank you for reading, it’s always therapeutic for me hearing it come from someone else 🤗

  3. Ash, everything you’ve written here is so relatable & so honest. Love everything about this, your advice is so genuine ! xx

    1. Aw that means a lot Anchal! I’m still learning all these things myself, it’s difficult at times but have to push through. Thanks for reading, I’m glad you enjoyed it 💕🌷

  4. I say just do it! So many people are living their lives out of fear, not out of passion. They will go to the grave full with wishes and dreams and goals that were never actualized! I say just try it, and if it doesn’t work out, try a different route. But never live with the regret of never even trying; it’ll eat you alive.

    1. Great post !!

    2. Ahh yes I love that. It’s always scared me thinking i’d go to my death bed having loads of regrets. That’s why I’m so adamant to continue doing things I enjoy in the present moment. I’m only just learning to try things and be comfortable knowing that there’s always another option. Thank you for reading Kelley, it’s much appreciated 💜

      1. Definitely. I’ve thought about how I want my last days to look(if I’m fortunate enough to see old age) and and I want them to be full of smiles, great memories and peace.

  5. It’s so funny because I am actually in the making of creating a book titled “Unapologetic” that pinpoints many of what you said! But I agree, all of this is extremely important and relevant in learning (and pacing yourself). I use to have no clue what I wanted to do in life only to come find that I have had the talents and resources at hand all along. Personally speaking, my growth came in knowing myself in Christ. Knowing in Him I am set apart. And the advice I’d give to anyone struggling is that we all face this issue. It’s common, it’s a part of life and it’s until we say no to pressure and yes to our own individualized time, that we can really see progress happen. Life is all about exploring and most of the time your gifts are what you are naturally born with/interested in/good at. So keep soul searching and you will find your lane <3

    1. First of all that’s amazing! I will be looking forward to that booking coming out as I love your posts. I agree with everything you’ve said. This resonates with me as kept looking externally for answers about what path I should pursue rather than looking inside and allowing myself the space to figure it out. And yes, it’s all about trusting that things will happen when it’s meant to be and accepting that it might not be an straight process but can take various turns until you reach your goals. Thank you for your comments, they’re very reassuring😊❤

      1. Thank you! You are wise, I trust you are on a bright path headed to a prosperous future. We all start and finish somewhere, that’s the beautiful of this whole journey. Never lose inspiration hun, it’s needed! And right back at you, your comment has refreshed me! Many blessings to you ❤️

      2. You’re right! I have to keep my mind focused on what I’m here on this earth to do. Thank you for your positive energy and I wish you prosperity on your journey <3333

  6. This is great advice. I’d also add to just do it, whatever “it” is. Many times you’ll figure out what’s supposed to happen along the way.

    1. That is so true! I suppose we have to just try and try again until we figure things out. Thank you for reading xx

  7. Great post. Lots of positivity and support for those of us who feel “behind.”

    1. I know too well what it’s like to feel “behind” but I’ve found solace in knowing we all start from somewhere. Thank for you reading! 💜☺️

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