Lack of Self-Belief: Personal Confessional and Tips to Help

Copy of The ugly truth about self love (1)


Is your lack of self-belief holding you back? You might want to create a wonderful life for yourself but a part of you feels like you are not good enough to achieve it. As 2018 is coming to an end I think it’s the perfect time to talk about something that can really have an impact on the upcoming year.

Low self-belief comes from an overarching message that you aren’t good enough. Suffering from low self-belief takes different forms in a person’s life. For example; avoiding pursuing your dreams because you don’t believe you can pull it off or feel uncomfortable to talk about yourself at social events. For some of us, self-belief doesn’t come naturally and is one of our biggest obstacles coming in the way of manifesting the life we want.

A lack of self-belief does not come in a vacuum. Many of us who suffer or have suffered from low self-esteem can trace the root causes back to our childhood or a negative experience that has affected the way we see ourselves. This is definitely true from my experience. I can trace this back to my school experiences. I always I tried hard in school but I would never get the grades to reflect my efforts. I didn’t have the experience of teachers who believed in me- in fact, they would usually undermine my capabilities by giving me low targets to meet. I believed I had the potential to do really well but my efforts were never acknowledged nor rewarded. When you’re the only one in your corner fighting to be better, it can be isolating and debilitating to one’s self-esteem especially when you put effort behind what you want to do. This experience ultimately created a sense of doubt in my ability to pursue my dreams.

At the end of 2017 I decided to embark on a journey of self-discovery which became the catalyst for working on my self-belief. I wanted to be self-confident and have believe in my potential to pursue my passion. I began searching for information that would help me and I remember coming across a video. She said something so simple yet it shifted my way of thinking: “ No Matter What”. For me those words mean having unwavering faith in my potential and capabilities no matter what obstacles I faced.  No matter what means believing in myself when others don’t recognize my potential. Those words mean that negative experiences are simply adding character to my journey and not evidence against my capabilities.

I wrote down a few declarations at the beginning of 2018 to help me on my journey towards truly believing in myself and they’re working extremely well. If you’re currently going through this battle, they should help you too.

Here are three declarations to make to yourself:

  1. No matter what- No matter what you go through you have to believe that you will make it through anything and be victorious. You have to make a declaration that nothing is going to take you out of this thing called life, despite how painful and hard it can be at times. Even if it takes you a long time to achieve your goals, you will not give up on yourself and will continue to take steps towards manifesting your dreams. The failures that you experience are lessons and teach you important life lessons that will ultimately lead to your success.
  2. If others can do it, so can I- There’s so much information available now that you can create a life for yourself unimaginable before. There are people out there who have experienced similar obstacles as you but have still been able to live their dreams. Even if you’re still figuring out how (I’m in the same boat), just know that we all start somewhere and sometimes you’ve just got to do it anyways and figure it out along the way. You possess all the qualities within you to live your version of success and happiness. There’s room for all of us to win, and a spot has been made for you to fill, if you put in the consistency and patience required.
  3. I am deserving of a great life- You deserve to wake up every morning and feel grateful for the things you have in your life. You deserve to live the life you’ve always envisioned for yourself. This is your world! Look at all the obstacles you’ve had to overcome to get to this point. You’re not on this earth to suffer but to live your best life.

And finally…

Having self-belief certainly does not come overnight. It’s still something that I struggle with and just like any other part of self-development, it’s a process which takes time. If you’re struggling with this, I want you to know that it’s not too late to start now. Even if you don’t fully believe in yourself, try living like you already have self-believe and trust me your life will change. Why not try a new feeling outside of doubt, worry and lack of self-confidence?

10 Affirmations: 

  • I am my biggest supporter
  • No matter what happens in life I can handle it
  • Nothing is going to take me out of this race called life
  • I refused to believe I am on this earth to suffer
  • I am not going to stop until I live my purpose
  • My faith in self is too big for anything to stop me!
  • In times of uncertainty, I will allow my inner child to guide me into following my dreams
  • I am proud of all of my accomplishments, even when they’re small
  • No matter how it takes me, I will manifest the life that I want
  • I will move towards my dreams, even if it’s a crawl on some days

Have you suffered or are currently suffering from a lack of self-belief? What are your experiences?

What is your personal development goal for 2019?

Love Ash, xx


Copyright © AshAlves 2018, All Rights Reserved

28 responses to “Lack of Self-Belief: Personal Confessional and Tips to Help”

  1. Awesome affirmations! I copied these down in my journal. My low self esteem stemmed from a failed relationship that left me a single mother. It was the hardest thing to get over. From feeling like I had it all (my own little family, decent job, “great” man) to being dropped like I was nothing. Learning to love myself was an uphill journey and I still struggle from time to time. But this was the year I said I was done with making excuses for not feeling at peace. Two months ago I began a journey to take my emotions and views of myself back. 2019 is literally my fresh start. Thank you for sharing your story ! You don’t know how encouraging it is to see a story similar to my own ❤️

    1. Ohh wow, thank you for sharing your story. I can only imagine how difficult that must have been, having to start all over and find yourself again. The fact that you made the decision to find peace with yourself and taking agency over your own happiness is commendable. Such a beautiful example for your children too. Your story is inspiring and I know there’s loads of people who can relate to it too. I’m glad you found the affirmations useful, and I really appreciate you taking your time to stare your story. It inspires me to constantly be brave enough to believe in myself. Sending my blessings to you and your family, I hope you have a propersous new year ☺️💜

  2. When I really look at what is stopping me to achieve almost anything it always come back to self belief. It’s sad to think I don’t just have it within me already, sometimes frustrating but at least I know what it is and this post really really helps. The affirmations really speak to me. Thank you Ash

    1. Exactly! I used to get very frustrated with myself because I lacked self belief but I’ve gained peace knowing that it’s a process. That face we’ve acknowledged it is the first step. Thank you for reading and I’m glad you liked them 💜✨

  3. The last affirmation on the list works well for me: “I will move towards my dreams, even if it’s a crawl on some days.” That’s where I’m at this moment in my writing life.

    1. Yes Rosaeline, I love how you’re currently doing that! I’m in the same boat. Instead of being harsh on myself, I focus my energy on making small but satisfying steps forward. Thanks for reading, and happy holidays <3

    1. Thank you for the support, and happy holidays to you and your family <3 <3 <3 🙂

      1. Same to you Ash 🎄🎄🎄

    1. Thank you 🙂 <3

  4. Thanks    for liking my post.


    I appreciate that very much. Thanks again

    Peace ✌and Love ❤

  5. Hi Ash! I wonder how is it going for you? Reciting the affirmations? Does it take a minute for you to believe those things (If you aren’t used to those affirmations)? I struggle with actually feeling them. I say them, yes, but, since I don’t ‘see’ it, I don’t believe it. Maybe I have to believe it first. I have no idea.

    1. Hello! I’m glad you asked this as I don’t think I made it clear in my post. The journey to self belief started with me analyzing why I lacked belief in myself and all the possible root causes. This meant looking back at my childhood and events that have occured that have led to me feeling unsatisfied with myself and lacking self belief. It was only until I did this deep analyses, which took time, that I began moving towards self belief. I didn’t know what self belief felt like, similar to you but I knew I was sick of feeling how I felt. I never believed in affirmations to be quite honest with you. It felt like I was lying to myself. It was only until I made it a part of my daily routine (first thing I recite when I wake up) and done it consistently over a couple of months that I started to believe them. Other things I’d do- pray/ meditate daily, write my thoughts down when I felt low, watch motivating videos every morning. So my advice to you is this; have an honest conversation with yourself about where your low self belief comes from, create a daily practice which empowers you, write your feelings down when you’re feeling lack of self belief, recite affirmations every day on a consistent basis. And just a reminder- it can take time so don’t be harsh on yourself. I hope this is helpful. If any have any other questions let me know. Thanks for commenting & I’m rooting for you 💜✨

      1. Thanks so much for your detailed reply. I am too in the process of deep analysis. It is therapeutic. I find that once I cleanse myself of self-doubt and pain I am better able to move forward. Also, I am finding that taking small portions of the day and dedicating it to my self care (meditations, praying etc) I am much more still and at peace. I will try your suggestion of reciting the affirmations to myself daily. I have to admit that I quit after a few days 🙂 lol. However, I am more dedicated to getting yo know me. Thank you so much for your kind words. I will keep you updated on my progress!

  6. Great motivational post Ash. Makes me realize that I can do anything as long as I put my heart and mind to it

    1. Thank you so much Tebogo that means a lot! I’m glad it was useful to you. Happy holidays and I hope your New Years is a prosperous one 💜

  7. Ash…was worried/thinking about you this holiday season. Hope everything is going well!

    1. Hey, How are you? And how was the holidays? Aw it’s nice to hear from you! My holidays are going well, to be honest I’ve spent most of it just recouperating in time for the new year. Looking forward to the new year?

  8. I’ve never really struggled with a lack of self-belief, because it would have been my undoing. I left a loving, but claustrophobic foster home at age 15. It became all about survival. There was no room for lack in my decision. It was about using the skills, and the confidence garnered in an earlier foster situation to stay on my feet. Yes, I was to be tested, but never beaten.

    As I aged, and became more experienced at doing more than just getting by, I learned to live. I realized that only my highest and best was going to get me there. Never look down. Never look back. Always look up. Be grateful, and live in the NOW!

    1. Wow, that’s amazing how being in survival mode forced you to depend on yourself and thus creating self-belief. Thank you for that, I will try to remember those last words. My 2019 goal is to be more present and get the most out of my day. When is your book coming out of curiosity? Haha I’d love to read one by you. ☺️💜

      1. So sweet Ash. There are so many 📚 on the market these days, which is why I choose a more succinct medium, blogging. Love 💕 it!

  9. Great post and blog Ash!

    1. Thank you so much 💜

  10. I really,really,really love your 3 statements here.I had heard this this week.I love it.keep it up Ash.looking forward to catching up on your blog posts.happy 2019.may it be full of thank yous

  11. Great Post!

    I lost myself for a while there but i’m back trying to build my self-belief to give myself a better life. I can’t pin point why or when I stopped having self belief or if I ever really had it to begin with. There could be a number of reasons for this mainly life or relationship experiences but not any 1 reason and certainly not rooted from my childhood.
    “my efforts were never acknowledged nor rewarded” there has been so many times I feel this has applied to my life.

    Thank you for a wonderful post.

    1. I’m so glad you’re trying to build your self belief again. Hmm yes it’s a tricky one. Sometimes it difficult to identify where it comes from, sometimes there’s a multitude of reasons. I hope you’re able to figure it out! Wishing you all the best and thank you for stopping by 💕✨

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