Copy of The ugly truth about self love (8)


Have you ever been on social media and saw people having the time of their lives and felt like you were missing out? The fear of missing out aka (FOMO), often derives from feeling like others are experiencing better things than you are. It has become more prevalent in the age of social media where you are constantly paraded with the highlights of other people’s lives.

Social media exacerbates this feeling of missing out. It leads people to compare their ordinary lives to others online who they perceive to be leading more abundant, fulfilling lives. Sites like Instagram and Facebook place emphasis on the reel highlights of someone’s life. People use it as a tool to brag about all the amazing things they are doing, intentionally leaving out all the very normal things that most people experience. This creates space for people to feel envious and dissatisfied with their own life’s.

You suffer from FOMO if you do or feel any of the following:


  • Feeling like everyone is having more fun, and experiencing more joy than you
  • Overcompensating by posting content to make you feel better about your life and to convince others that you have it all together
  • Constantly watching what other people are doing and keeping tabs to feel like we are a part of the action
  • Feeling pressured to be visible on social media
  • Feeling like no one can relate their struggles

This fear of missing out can harm people’s self-esteem. It can make us feel like we are not good enough and unfortunate in comparison. The constant wave of picturesque pictures and celebratory statuses can make us ungrateful for the life that we lead.

I think in some way many of us fear missing out. If you are a content creator, the pressure to be constantly visible and produce content can keep us in a constant hamster wheel. I know I’ve felt like I can’t take a social media break or that I must engage in certain conversations in fear of missing my window of opportunity to promote my brand. As humans, we have a desire to be valued and loved. Experiencing joy is fundamental for self-preservation and being a part of something makes us feel less lonely. However, the feeling of missing out leads us to seek validation in unhealthy ways by constantly ‘performing’ online. It brings us back to the very school-like dynamics of feeling left out and trying to fit in.

The reality is even if you were able to acquire the things you envy from others (i.e. a relationship, a great social life or material success), it doesn’t guarantee that your life will be more fulfilled. You may end up in a loving relationship but may not be enough because you lack self confidence. Also, things aren’t always what it seems online. There have been times when I posted myself going out but wasn’t feeling that great about myself. You can’t make assumptions based on what you see online.

If you are suffering from FOMO I want you to remember this: 

People are online showing their reel highlights. We all have them. Comparing ourselves to other people’s highlights is unfair and unkind. You never know what others are going through. All that matters are that your life is in alignment with what you envision for it.

Remember, you get to live life on your terms. Your life is incomparable to others and you slay in your own lane. Nothing can fill a void that’s within you other than you. Find peace and joy within your own life and make a declaration that other people’s lives will not disrupt that peace.

Now over to you! Questions for you: 

Do you suffer from FOMO?

What are your thoughts?

Much love, Ash xx


Copyright © 2019 AshAlves All Rights Reserved


  1. Yep, people rarely post their bad pictures on their sites.

    1. 100% agree and it breaks an illusion that people’s lives are perfect. I understand that no one wants to but their bad moments but it becomes damaging when it’s being pushed that we have to look/ be perfect in order to be seen as valuable

      1. Yeah, makes me think of how magazine companies have to air brush everyone and also make them look thinner.

      2. Ahhh yes and I feel like that trend has poured over into social media!

    2. Thanks for commenting 💜

  2. No ma’am. The only fomo I can relate to is missing the beauty of daily life. <3

    1. Yes I’m so glad!! I used to feel that way but i don’t anymore thankfully. I’ve learnt to appreciate my own life 💜💜

  3. Have fb deactivated and insta unstalled. Been a month

    1. How is that going for you? I can imagine it was a relief. I feel so good once I’ve deactivated my accounts for a short break. 💜

      1. Being authentic and truthful is key to being content, strong and peaceful…

      2. Trying hard to resist the habit of opening the account as i turn on the net actually. I hope it gets easier with time

      3. It will be! The beginning is the hardest part. I hope it’s beneficial for you 🌷

  4. One thing to add that everything has its pros and cons but things are good if used in the right way …

  5. I completely agree! That’s why I stay away from content like that. Only view things that brings knowledge and happiness. Otherwise, what’s the point?

    1. Yes same!! It’s so important for our wellbeing to make sure we are consuming positive things. It’s not way to live being depressed as a result of social media. Good you’re doing the right thing. Thank you for reading ☺️💜

  6. Just felt it yesterday..this yesterday and Im seeing this post. Thank you. I even ended up saying “they too show😀😀” whatever that means.

    1. Haha what a coincidence but that’s what it’s like when you’re online and see the way people post! Thanks for reading my post Florence ☺️🌷

  7. I can relate and also as much as it is inspiring to see other people’s success it magnifies how far your own dream is.

  8. Your are correct. The kind of competition going on right now especially on the social media is too much. God will surely help out!

    1. That’s so true Michael! I hope so because it’s so damaging to people’s self esteem to constantly compare your life to others. Glad you recognize this 💜

      1. I agree with you dear… 👍

  9. Yes this is so true Ash and I’m greatful I don’t suffer from it I love social media cause I can social with people hence I love socialising but I can spend weeks not being on social media. I just trash all my insta and whatsapp then after days or weeks I restore. Sometimes it just because I’m busy and I don’t feel guilty.
    Beautiful post.❤
    Enjoy your Sunday women.💛👑

  10. Most of youth are suffering from “fomo” hence they always post Photoshoped pics of themselves looking like they having fun…the question here is do introverts suffer from fomo?

    1. Hmmm interesting question! I believe so but I feel like introverts can project themselves like they’re having fun etc in order to fill a void of loneliness some of us feel. What are your thoughts? 😊

      1. I questioned introverts because I think of course they are me missing out as they don’t engage in so many activities but since they miss out because they want to not because of situation that brought me to that question of are they really suffering from fomo. So to be honest I am not sure if introverts do suffer from fomo or what.

  11. I absolutely agrer with this point of view. I use to be a victim of soical media I started becoming aware of how my attachment was affecting my moods. No one post the everyday obstacles of life. We all have moments of pain, shame, grief, embarrassment and so on. No one is happy every day. Don’t believe the hype. Life is real and so are the struggles😊

  12. FOMO adds to screen addiction. Interest post!

    1. Ahhh that’s very true! Didn’t think about that. Thanks for reading this!

  13. Energy Reader Healer Avatar
    Energy Reader Healer

    I’ve deleted all my accounts.its to draining for me. I can read between the lies and I’m good for not participating anymore in the shenanigans.im rediscovering myself.naturing my soul.

  14. You said it all. Usually people appear to be on too when they are having their own struggles just like you.

  15. Wow I’ve been saying this for ages and you put it perfectly in words! Thank you 😊

    1. No worries! It’s such a common thing and it should be spoken about more. Thank you for reading this 💜

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