Comparing Yourself to Others: Tips to Help and Affirmations

Copy of The ugly truth about self love (1)



Have you ever looked at someone’s social media account and found yourself comparing your life to theirs?  Suddenly your weaknesses are amplified and what you have is not good enough. Or perhaps you have that one friend who seems to have it all together and reminds you of all the things you lack in your life.

Yes, I’ve been there! Plenty of times actually. Unfortunately, it’s something that many people experience and social media has made it even harder to escape this need to compare ourselves. We usually feel comparison the most when we perceive someone else as having something we want. This can trigger us into feeling inadequate and lead us to wonder if it’s even going to happen for us.

Reasons why we compare ourselves:

  • Unsatisfied with your life
  • You feel like you’re working hard but not getting the results
  • Pressure from society; market capitalism telling us that everything that we lack in life can be remedied by buying products
  • Lack of trust in your ability to receive those things someone else has
  • Your definition of success and happiness is based on other people’s perceptions

Sound familiar?

Here’s why you should stop comparing yourself:

Unfairly fleshing out your weaknesses and judging yourself based on someone else’s strengths is unkind and unfair. What you are failing to do in those moments is appreciate the blessings that are currently in your life.  Just because someone has what you want right now doesn’t mean it won’t happen for you eventually. Trust that things will fall into place when the time is right for you. Just do your best and continue to have faith that things will work out eventually. 

You might be comparing yourself to someone else’s middle. We are all at different stages of our journey called life. You never know the hurdles and sacrifices that person went through to get to where they are now. The majority of the time there’s a whole struggle behind what we see.

Even if you think or know that things came easy to a person and it feels like you are constantly struggling to obtain what they have, it’s a waste of time comparing yourself to them. Unfortunately for most of us, things don’t come easy and we have to go through plenty of obstacles to get to where we want to be in life. Don’t make those small examples (even though social media has a way of making them look like the majority) distort your reality. Don’t lose your ability to appreciate where you are now by solely focusing on the next destination.

Practical steps to help you stop comparing yourself:

1. Take social media breaks- I can’t emphasise this enough. Social media is a distorted version of reality with people trying to outdo the other. More importantly, taking breaks is good for your mental health. It makes you realise that there’s a life beyond social media to explore and nurture. Taking breaks allows you to gain appreciation for the little things in life.

2. Stop yourself when you start comparing yourself- When you find yourself sinking into comparing yourself, say to yourself ‘stop’. Grab a pen and paper or even your notes on your phone and answer these questions: 1. What happened to make you feel this way? 2. How do you feel? 3. What can I do to make myself feel better about this? If you do this every time, you will train yourself to deal with those feelings much better when they arise or even let them go completely.

3. Tune out the noise and focus on you- You need to be so focused on what you need to do and appreciate each step of the way that there’s absolutely no room for comparison to derail you. Imagine yourself in a bubble doing whatever makes you happy and pursuing your inner passion- focus on doing that or at least working towards it. Say no to any thoughts or people that ruin your peace.

4. Affirmations- Find affirmations that make you feel better about the insecurities you have about yourself and keep repeating them on a daily basis until you start to feel their positive effect. Affirmations are an excellent way to put things into perspective and will provide you with that reassurance that things will work out fine.

Questions to You:

Have you ever compared yourself to others?


Thanks for reading Love Ash, xx


47 responses to “Comparing Yourself to Others: Tips to Help and Affirmations”

  1. This is a great write up. Often times I compare myself to other people in my field and I wonder what it is they are doing that I’m not.

    It is frustrating when I think about it but going on social media breaks like you stated here is a good way to remove myself from all the draining negative energy.

    Well done I enjoyed reading this👌👏👏

    1. Hey b! Ahh yes I know what that feels like especially when you think you are doing well then see others & start to doubt whether you are going about things the right way. Whenever I start to feel those feelings I come offline so can gain perspective. There’s so much competition & negativity online too. Yes love take those breaks when you feel like that! Thank you stopping by & I’m really glad you enjoyed this 💜🌷

      1. You’re welcome. Your blog is motivating

      2. Aww thank you so much that made me smile 😭💜💜

      3. Lol… You’re welcome❤❤

    2. Social media is the root of so many problems.

      1. Oh tell me about it! It’s such a shame. I try to focus on the ways it can add value these days. Thank you for reading 😊

      2. Agreed. You are welcome!

      3. I really enjoyed this post. What most people don’t realize is that the average social media user may only share positive information. Taking a break from social media can definitely help with this. 

      4. Exactly! You’re so right. We mostly only see highlight reels. The human experience is complex. We shouldn’t compare ourselves to lives we don’t even understand 💜

      5. Thank you. Agreed

  2. Very helpful post, thank-you so much for sharing 💞

    1. I’m so glad you found this helpful! Thank you and I hope you’re having a great week 💖

  3. It’s so true. I guess a lot of us are struggling with it. Your suggestions are very useful. It’ll help get control of ourselves and get positive🙏

    1. So many of us! It’s funny how we don’t often talk about it too. Just shows us that it’s important to focus on our own journeys. I’m glad you found it helpful thank you for reading 🌷🌷

  4. Number 1 (Social media breaks) is a personal favourite of mine☺️. I love the ‘affirmations’ suggestions – I’ll definitely try to incorporate more of that. Great post!

    1. Yess i honestly don’t know how people cope being on social media 24/7 it’s a lot of negative energy/ competition etc that you consume in the process so it’s impoetwnt to take breaks! Thank you love I’m glad you’ve found it helpful & thanks for reading 💖👏🏾

  5. What a great article.

    1. Thank you so much that’s very kind of you 💖🌷

  6. You are so talented .I Like your article.

  7. Love this great thoughts Ash.

    1. Thank you so much! 🌷☺️

  8. Nothing destroys joy like comparision, these tips are gold! Loved them, thank you for sharing. -Cezane

    1. Very true- it’s the thief of all joy they say! Thank you Cezane for reading 🌷☺️

  9. Good job with this. It’s important to stop comparing ourselves to other people. When we do so we show a great lack of care and insecurities toward ourselves. We should see ourself as wonderful and a awesome person and work on who we are seeing the greatness in us and working on being and making that better everyday. There’s only one you love it.

    1. Very Well said 👏🏾👏🏾 Comparing ourselves will only make sure feel insecure & make us doubt ourselves. Love that we definitely see ourselves that way. Thank you for stopping by ☺️

      1. No problemo. Anytime anytime. 👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿

  10. I surely have. I sometimes compare myself with others and wonder why they are having so much traffic when I am not.

    1. Woah I love your honesty. This is a tough one because I have the same doubts relating to my other platforms. For my own sanity I cannot spend much time looking at what others are doing. Best thing we can do is do our best and so what brings us joy. Thank you for sharing your thoughts ☺️🌷

  11. “Lack of trust in your ability to receive those things someone else has”—— this sounds all too familiar to me.

    Have I compared myself to others?… well I do. Quite often. Which is a pretty bad habit of mine. But it’s getting quite better for me actually.

    I have learned to slowly stop doing so. And you’re right affirmation really help. This blog post really helped. Thank you ❤️😊

  12. This is great! Definitely needed. ♥️

    1. I’m really glad to hear. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts <3

  13. Growing up I used to compare myself to all my friends because they were all from rich families and got everything they wanted when they wanted them and they never realised how lucky they were. Getting a a Pinterest account is oddly one of the reasons why I stopped comparing myself because Pinterest is generally all about positivity and creativity and that’s all I have focused on since then and I’ve been content ever since

    1. Awww I’m so glad Pinterest helped you in that way. I usually realise how great Pinterest was for positive quotes & affirmations until recently. Im glad you don’t compare yourself anymore to them it is hard growing up and feeling like we are missing out I’ve felt like that before. Thanks for sharing your experience. ☺️💜

  14. Everyone is unique so comparing yourself to your friends is not fair on you as you are not created to have the same achievements so be yourself and know there is only you out there.

    1. Very well said and great advice! So important that we focus on our own self selves and what brings us joy. Thank you for sharing this🌷☺️

  15. I completely agree. It’s something that I’ve had to overcome with my own life. It’s hard NOT to compare yourself to others, especially when it is thrown in your face so much on social media. You start questioning, “why am I not where I want to be in life?” “What am I doing with my life?” But we all must not forget that EVERYONE has their own personal battles and struggles. It’s definitely important to self reflect, however at the same time not beat ourselves up for it. What’s shown on social media is only the tip of the ice berg. Very insightful post

    1. You’re so right! It’s very hard not to compare ourselves. Social media is like a reminder of all the things that we don’t have. It can be extremely daunting. So true, there’s so much going on in people’s lives that we don’t see. There’s times when I post and I’m not in the greatest of moods so I try not to take social media so seriously. I’m glad I’m not alone in feeling like this and glad you don’t beat yourself up about it! Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts I appreciate it ☺️💖

  16. I enjoyed reading this article. Taking social media breaks is something I would have to do more. Thanks for sharing.

    1. Breaks are definitely important for our well being and so we can nurture other aspects of our life that matter. Thank you! Glad you enjoyed have a good week 💖

  17. ♥️♥️♥️

  18. Mom is really big on affirmations, I see why. Brilliant article

    1. Affirmations are great right! They really help especially in low moments. Got a wide mother ☺️🌷

  19. […] Comparing Yourself to Others: Tips to Help and Affirmations — Read on […]

  20. Great post! Yes, lately I have been comparing myself a lot due to the reasons you stated. I wonder why my mind doesn’t let me love my life unconcerned about others and just with my life, all the best

    1. I can relate to this! I think the only way I was able to stop comparing myself is by forcefully stopping myself from watching & hearing about other people’s lives. This meant filtering my social media’s i.e muting people I knew I’d compare my life too. You have to see yourself as being in a bubble and just doing things that make you feel joy. You have to live by your own standards of success and show gratitude. I hope you feel better soon and thank you for stopping by 💞

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