Moving through disappointment
Constant disappointment can chip away at your soul. When you’re so used to getting your hopes up only to be disappointed, it makes sense why you’d struggle to open up and let people in. You’ve learned that being vulnerable is unsafe. I know how challenging it can be to constantly feel like things always take a turn for…
It’s been a minute: Life update and finding my ground again.
Hey guys, It’s been a minute since I’ve written a blog post here, more than two years to be exact. I have missed sharing my reflections, reading your blog posts and engaging in meaningful dialogue. I’m so happy to be back. I missed this space so much! Lately, I’ve been feeling a strong urge to…
My first self-published book! 8th April 2021
Hey guys, I hope you’re all! I know I’ve been taking large breaks on my blog but please forgive me. I’ve been working on something special and I’m finally ready to share it with the world. I am both excited and petrified to announce the release of my first self-published book “A Warriors Reminder”, available…
People are Mirrors to Ourselves
“When we realise that our relationship breakdowns (platonic/ romantic) are mirrors to ourselves, we receive the lesson quicker so that the healing work can begin.” – Ash Alves One thing that I’ve been exploring recently is the notion that people are mirrors to ourselves. After reading the work of Debbie Ford, Iyanla Vanzant and Jung,…
Lessons I’ve learned in 2020
Hello guys, I hope you’re all well and staying safe! It’s been a while since I’ve posted on my blog. I’ve missed you all and can’t wait to catch up on all the amazing posts. This year has been heavy for the collective but in many ways a blessing for some of us. This is…
The pressure of being in your 20’s
Long are the years where your 20s were the age for you to discover who you are and want you want to make of your life. the age of social media there’s pressure to have your life together- financially, materially, physically so that you can grace the ages of your 30s and finally settle down.…
How to strengthen your Intuition
Have you ever received a nudge to do something or follow a path that you knew was in your best interest? From time to time, you may receive a deep, unexplainable inner knowing that you’re being led towards something that’s in your greater good. I believe as humans we all posses inner wisdom and if…
Holding Yourself Accountable
Do you know someone who just cannot seem hold themselves accountable for their actions? Or is that person you? They convince themselves that they did nothing wrong and even see themselves as victims to the actions of others. Holding yourself accountable forces you to see how you may have contributed to an undesirable outcome or…
Benefits of being Vulnerable
Have you ever opened up to someone only to have your trust broken? When you’ve experienced being hurt by someone you trusted, it can be difficult to allow yourself to be vulnerable again. To protect ourselves from being hurt, we may end up putting up a wall to guide our hearts. “Vulnerability is not winning…
Be clear about Who You Are!
Hey loves, It’s been a few weeks since I stopped by. I’m attempting to balance other priorities whilst giving myself space for my creative expression without imposing a deadline. I’m giving myself permission to go off schedule. We are still in a pandemic. I’m letting go of the idea that I need to constantly produce…
Healing is a Social Justice Issue
Within a society that is anti-wellness, it’s not enough to avoid talking about social justice issues. Healing is more than just self-love quotes and breathing exercises. It’s a deep introspective look into the social ills that are the causes of people’s pain and distress. “We have to talk about liberating minds as well as liberating…
The Gratitude Journal: June 20′
It’s June, I’m so grateful to be alive, experiencing a new month. I’m thankful that despite being in a pandemic, I have remained safe and so have the people around me. I know that blessing is not afforded to everyone. I wish I could be ecstatic about this upcoming month but we are currently in…
How to Overcome Feeling Envious at someone else’s Success
Does other people’s success trigger feelings of inadequacy? You may find that you are genuinely happy for them but can’t seem to stop thinking about what’s going wrong in your life. I think it’s safe to say that we’ve all gone through a period where we’ve been unhappy or unsatisfied with how things are going…
A Gentle Reminder: You are Valuable
Sending you a gentle reminder to you all today, 🌻 You can’t wait for others to see your worth for you to recognise that it’s inherent within you. You were born worthy, valuable and enough. You don’t need to do more, accomplish more, be more or less of anything to be valuable. Give yourself permission to…
Side Effects of Holding onto Resentment
Do you currently feel resentful towards someone? Resentment typically arises when we feel an injustice has been committed towards us. A person who feels resentful may have felt personally attacked and subsequently allowed a grudge to fester. It’s common to hold resentment, however, when left unaddressed over a long period of time, it can become…
The Gratitude Journal: April 20′
Hello loves, I hope you are well and staying safe. I haven’t been that active on my blog lately and I miss this space so much. Life has been so crazy. As I’m picking up more responsibilities, I’m trying to balance everything and somehow factor in self-care. I love interacting with you all and reading…
Side Effects of Avoiding Negative Emotions
Do you typically avoid negative emotions or embrace them? Embracing your feelings is a good thing. It helps you to build a healthy relationship with yourself by validating and allowing yourself to feel. Of course, not every feeling needs to be acted upon especially if you find yourself repeating unhealthy behaviours. However, avoiding any negative…
The Gratitude Journal: March 20′
Hello loves, We made it to another month! This month’s gratitude journal is about action- taking action to create the life we truly want to live. Before I get into it, I just wanted to have a moment to express gratitude for life itself. I am grateful for the opportunity to breathe and exist in…
Accountability.
It’s so much easier to identify the unhealthy behaviour in others than within ourselves. Be brave enough to look within yourself, acknowledge what’s there and begin to address it. Be compassionate with yourself in the process. Taking accountability for your actions, behaviours and situation is the first step to becoming the victor of your own…
Side effects of overextending yourself
Do you constantly put the needs of others before your own? Are you often compromising your personal peace to please others? Too often have I placed the needs of others before my own, often exhausting myself in the process. I believe that helping others is extremely important, however I don’t believe it should leave us…
The Gratitude Journal; Feb 2020
In the wake of the recent death of Kobe Bryant and his daughter, it bought to people’s attention the fragility of life itself. We shy away from talking about death because it’s associated with pain, grief and loss. When a death occurs, it often puts things into perspective. You begin to think about how much…
The importance of Self-Forgiveness
Have you forgiven yourself for your past mistakes? Or are you still holding onto what you wish you’d done differently? Living in a constant state of guilt is tormenting. Your mind replays what you did wrong and how things could have been different. It leads to self-sabotage and negative self-talk. You can believe that you…
Discomfort- A shift is happening
Hey guys, I hope you are having a blessed 2020 so far. I wanted to share my thoughts some of my thoughts with you. January has been great so far but I’ve been feeling very uncomfortable. Am I the only one or have you been feeling the same? I feel like there’s a universal shift…
The Gratitude Journal: Jan 2020
New year. New Decade. New Beginning. We have entered a new decade. Who knows what it’s going to bring? The only thing we know for sure is that we can do our best to make this year the best one possible! The time is now to go after our hearts true desires. Yes, it’s going…
Embrace
New decade mantra: Instead of resisting, we are learning to embrace. We are no longer allowing disappointment to stop us from living the life we truly desire. We use our pain as fuel to live our highest, grandest life possible. We understand that life comes in seasons and instead of resisting change, we embrace it.…
Intention Setting for the New Year 2020
It’s the end of the year and you may be thinking about all the goals you want to achieve in the next year. But have you thought about your intentions behind your wanting to accomplish those goals? Intention setting is when you ensure that all your goals are in alignment with your values and the…
The Gratitude Journal: December 2019
Hey lovely, This month’s Gratitude Journal is inspired by this quote from Saabirah Lawrence, co-founder of Everyday Queens: “Every year is your year” -Saabirah Lawrence 2020 is approaching and some of us may be anticipating what the new year is going to bring. You may have had an amazing year or you might be impatiently…
Surrender.
Sometimes we want a situation to go a certain way but life often has its own plans. Sometimes we need to let go and allow the powers above to reconstruct our lives. You may not understand the current turmoil you are experiencing but eventually you will. Trust that there’s work being done to restructure your…
Moving from Hopeless to Hopeful
How do you get from hopeless to hopeful? How do you bridge the gap between wanting to give up and deciding to try again? When you are in a state of feeling like giving up on life, the idea that you will one day feeling better again sounds like a far-reaching idea. Sometimes we go…
The Gratitude Journal: Nov 19′
Happy November all <3 This month’s gratitude journal topic is about the importance of self-reflection. For many of us, we don’t give ourselves enough time to reflect because we are too busy keeping up with our daily responsibilities. When we are living on autopilot, it’s easy to get caught up doing low vibration things that are…
Recommit.
Every now and then, life will throw us a curve ball. When we go through hard times, it’s easy to forget that we have the tools within us to make ourselves feel better. When life is good, self-care practises feel easier to follow out of pure enjoyment. However, when we are feeling low we can…
How to Cope with a Friendship Breakup
Have you ever drifted apart from a friend? They say some friends are for seasons but there are certain friendships that we thought would last forever. When I was younger, I used to visualize me and my friends raising our kids together, exploring the world and seeing each other reach the height of our success…
The Gratitude Journal: October ’19
Hey you <3 The focus of this month is being INFLOW. Being inflow of life requires us to be present and live life to our fullest capacity. We can use ‘time’ to our advantage by proactively planning and preparing for the life we want to manifest. However, it’s important to remember that the only time…
Overcoming
Happy Sunday 🌷✌🏾, Sometimes I’m humbly reminded of my strengths. There were days when sleeping all day was the norm. I spent many lonely nights contemplating why the pain would never go away. I know some of you are familiar with feeling hopeless. Moments of pain forces a new version of ourselves to emerge. Either…
The Struggles of an Empath
Being an empath is a superpower. We can frequently sense other people’s emotions often without them having to explain themselves. The people who have made a positive impact on this world are most likely empaths. The ability to be considerate, compassionate and harmonising truly makes us empaths blessings to humanity. Definition- “an empath is someone…
The Gratitude Journal: Sep 19′
Hello love, The topic of this month’s Gratitude Journal is LESSONS- Some obstacles are blessings in disguise. Obstacles help us to be redirected in the path that’s in alignment with our highest good. Other obstacles are a test of our endurance and perseverance. Without obstacles, we wouldn’t be who we are today. Those obstacles that…
Realignment
Hello guys! 🍃 As August comes to a close, I’d like to send out a gentle reminder to you all ~~ How was your August? What lessons have you learnt over the past few months? Love Ash, xx Copyright © 2019 AshAlves All Rights Reserved
Impromptu Post: My Terrible Day!
I spent this morning deep in prayer. I prayed for my negative thoughts to be replaced with positive ones. I asked my higher power for confidence and more self-belief. I topped off my grounding ritual by writing a gratitude list, burning sage and listening to Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday. An hour later, my phone was…
FEAR OF MISSING OUT: SOCIAL MEDIA WOES
Have you ever been on social media and saw people having the time of their lives and felt like you were missing out? The fear of missing out aka (FOMO), often derives from feeling like others are experiencing better things than you are. It has become more prevalent in the age of social media…
The Gratitude Journal: August 19’
Happy August, For this month’s gratitude topic, I want to talk about uncertainty! When we are uncertain about a decision we need to make, it can make us feel stuck and unsettled. The fear of missing out or potentially making the wrong decision can be very daunting. We all feel uncertain at times and somehow…
Legal Action against your Abuser UK
Hi all, I created a document for Domestic Violence victims with information about how to get a Non-Molestation Order against your abuser. I have a couple of years experience within the Law Sector and have utilised the knowledge I have gained. This is applicable for those under UK law. PDF document can be found here: LEGAL…
The Sunshine Blogger Award
What is the Sunshine Blogger Award all about? It is about recognising the community of fellow bloggers for their creativity and positivity. I want to specially thank Buloka Orry for nominating me for this award. Her blog posts are inspirational and they have been so encouraging to me. Kindly check out her blog here. I…
How to overcome feeling not good enough
Are you struggling with not feeling good enough? No matter how much you accomplish or try, you still feel this lingering feeling of not being enough. You might be in a perpetual cycle of doing things to fill a void to distract yourself from feelings of unworthiness. Typically the narrative we tell ourselves about not…
The Gratitude Journal: July 19′
Happy July! <3 Sending you gentle reminder for this month: Trust and believe in your growth. No one can take that away from you. You know your heart and what goodness it carries. The only time you become a prisoner to the older version of you is when you decide to make that choice. Trust…
Self Love is a Journey with no destination
Self love is a journey with no destination. Invest in your well-being and be delicate with yourself along the way. 🌷 Love Ash, xx Copyright © AshAlves 2019, All Rights Reserved
Body Image and Social Media
Social media has distorted the way we perceive real bodies yet most people are afraid to talk about it. Having an hourglass body with a small waist and big butt has become the new norm. There has been a drastic increase in people getting BBL (Brazilian Butt Lift) surgery or going to extreme lengths to photoshop…
The Gratitude Journal: June 19′
Hello you! The theme of this month: BEING PRESENT Are you really present or are you just running on autopilot? Too often we try to effectively attend to multiple things at once. Many of us spend a lot of our day multitasking and going through the motions without being present in the moment. After a…
I found myself
What about if I told you that those moments when you’re alone exist for you to rediscover yourself again? Appreciate those quiet moments as they will bring you closer to yourself. I hope you all have a lovely week ahead. Love Ash, xx Copyright © AshAlves 2019, All Rights Reserved
Do you attract what you are? Let’s talk!
You are all probably familiar with the famous line “You attract what you are”. I remember the first time hearing this line when I was younger and not resonating with it. My thought process was “So I don’t love myself, does that mean I will attract people who will treat me badly?”. I couldn’t resonate with…
Hey! Back from a Mini Break
Heyyy all 😊, I don’t know about you but this May has been so intense! I’ve been feeling a multitude of emotions and have experienced some deep revelations. My internal world is shifting- for the better. The full moon has just moved into Scorpio. According to gurus this is supposed to be a time of…
The Gratitude Journal: May 19′
Happy May guys! I wanted to send out a humble reminder for this month- In a world where we are constantly told that we need to change who we are in order to fit into societies standard of success and importance, it can be difficult to resist succumbing to everyone else’s expectations. I want to…
Comparing Yourself to Others: Tips to Help and Affirmations
Have you ever looked at someone’s social media account and found yourself comparing your life to theirs? Suddenly your weaknesses are amplified and what you have is not good enough. Or perhaps you have that one friend who seems to have it all together and reminds you of all the things you lack…
The Gratitude Journal: April ’19
Happy April guys! A gentle reminder for this month- “we are so focused on surviving that we forget that we have survived” – Chanel James Remember all those times when you thought you wouldn’t make it through yet you survived? All those days when carrying on felt seemingly impossible? You made it through the hardest…
Self Care for Workers w/ @amaraamaryah
For those of us who spend the majority of our day working, it’s often difficult to make the time to practice self-care. Dealing with work, life’s problems ontop of taking care of our own needs can become a tedious task. That’s why it’s fundamental that we have non-negotiable selfcare acts that we can do…
People Pleaser: Personal Confessional and 5 tips to help you
Do you frequently put other people’s needs before your own? Does the thought of saying “no” make you feel anxious and uneasy? If yes then I can totally relate. Wanting other people to be happy and maintaining harmonious relationships is completely fine. However there’s a fine line between wanting other’s happy and people pleasing. Confessional…
4 Lessons Learnt from The Black Wellness Community W/ @Ashalvesblog
Hey guys! I collaborated with Saabirahlawrence to talk about the lessons we’ve learned from the black wellness community. We both came up with 4 lessons which has helped us exponentially on our blogging journey. I hope you give it a read. The reading time is 3 minutes! 💕✨ Love Ash xx Copyright © Saabirahlawrence…
The Gratitude Journal: March 19′
It’s March guys! The year is already flying by. Before we get stuck into another month, let’s take a moment to appreciate the blessings in our life. This month I want to show appreciation for my friendships. Friendship has always been a sour spot for me as for a long time I felt unfulfilled…
Trust Your Timing
Do you believe that you’re going to achieve your goals? If so, then why do we get impatient when things are not happening fast enough? Having faith that you will reach your goals is fundamental for achieving success. However, it’s easier said then done when you constantly see other people achieving amazing things and you…
The Gratitude Journal: February 2019
(Photo taken by me, Spain Catalonia 2019) Isn’t it beautiful knowing that everyday is a new day? The sun rises each day to reminds us that everyday we have the opportunity to truly shape the course of our life. From the moment we wake up, we get to decide how we choose to lead our…
Toxic Friends
The company we keep plays an important role in our lives. A good friendship should consist of the following characteristics; supportive, considerate, trustworthy, generous, honest and understanding. Great friends grow together. They should make you feel good inside. They share moments of joy and are great support systems. But what about if your friend/s are…
January 2019: The Gratitude Journal
It’s the first month of 2019! I just want to send out a gentle reminder to kick start the year; Every experience of rejection you face brings you closer to yourself. Do you know why? Because it forces you to decide whether to base your worth on that negative experience or use it to strengthen…
2018 Overview: The Gratitude Journal
As we wait patiently to usher in the new year, many of us take this time to reflect and make plans for the year ahead. I always find this time of the year very intense. Not only is it the holidays and my birthday month, I typically find myself in deep contemplative mood throughout December.…
Lack of Self-Belief: Personal Confessional and Tips to Help
Is your lack of self-belief holding you back? You might want to create a wonderful life for yourself but a part of you feels like you are not good enough to achieve it. As 2018 is coming to an end I think it’s the perfect time to talk about something that can really have…
December 2018: The Gratitude Journal
Hey guys, happy December🌷✨ It’s the end of the year! There’s SO much to talk about but I want to start off this month by giving you a gentle reminder: Never compromise who you are in order to fit in. Simply by being yourself, you’re enough! Imagine how boring the world would be if everyone…
Toxic Family
There comes a time when you start to analyze your family relationships and ask yourself whether they are fulfilling or not. It’s painful to admit that certain family members are toxic and don’t always have our best interest at heart. You might have to make a decision whether to cut ties completely or maintain a…
Social Media is draining: How to preserve your energy and keep engaged online.
Do you sometimes feel drained by social media? You experience days where being online felt more like an obligation than fun. However, it feels impossible to escape due to your personal and career goals. We all know the importance of online branding and posting content frequently to engage with other like-minded people. There’s a whole industry…
November 2018: The Gratitude Journal
Just a gentle reminder- Maybe the person you’re aspiring to be is the present you all along! We spend so much time planning to become this ideal version of ourselves that we forget that we can embody our greatest version in the present moment. Every single day is an opportunity to live a completely different…
Free Printable Worksheets
Hey guys, I have made 5 printable worksheets. Download your own FREE printable PDF worksheets here. You can print the pages in their original A4 format. LINK- Ashs Worksheet Printouts This document consists of 5 worksheets: Short term goals- listing your goal and 5 mini goals to aim towards it Gratitude- Listing things you’re grateful for. “I…
How to overcome feelings of Jealousy: Tips & Practical Steps
Have you ever seen images or heard of someone’s success and instantly felt a wave of jealously overwhelm you? Has this made you feel inadequate and made you doubt your own accomplishments? Well you’re not alone. We all have our own demons and i’ve tussled with this one. I’ve battled with jealous thoughts for years.…
October 1st: The Gratitude Journal
It’s October guys! I hope that everyone has a blissful month 🌻. The theme of this month is all about transition. Embracing change and making room for something greater. As the leaves fall on the ground and birth new ones, may this season remind us of the importance of letting go and allowing change to…
Downplaying Compliments and Low Self-Esteem: A confessional
Do you ever receive a compliment and instantly deflect the conversation away from yourself? I can relate. To give myself credit, this past year I have made a conscious effort to accept nice things said about me. However, I still catch myself feeling uncomfortable or deflecting from compliments especially when I receive them in real…
Gratitude list: Sept 2018
1. My ability to bounce back from adversity 2. For discovering writing as a form of therapy and healing 3. Waking up and seeing the sunrise 4. My travel experiences and being able to experience the richness of the black diaspora 5. Growing up on India. Arie’s music 6. Having friends who support and inspire…
Heyy I’m back from my blogging Hiatus!
Hey guys, I’m not sure if anyone noticed but last month I took a break from blogging. I’ve spent the past few weeks in South Africa exploring the lovely Johannesburg and Cape Town! I’ll be totally honest, it was an unintentional break. Just as I was about to board my flight, I ended up breaking…
How to survive a job you hate
Do you frequently walk into work each morning and think ughhh not this again? I know that feeling all too well! Waking up to a 9 to 5 job everyday feels like you never left work. One minute you’re making your way home and the next you’re turning off the alarm for work the next…
Fear of not being Good Enough
Living in your passion is what many of us strive to achieve in this life. When you decide to take that first step into doing what you love, it can be the most liberating feeling ever. However doing something out of your comfort zone and playing bigger than ever before can evoke unintended feelings of…
Loneliness
Loneliness has been the darkness in my life that always finds its way to haunt me. When I begin to feel like I’ve finally overcome it, I find myself feeling isolated and lonely all over again. The truth is I’ve always enjoyed my own company. However for the past few years I spent long periods…
Gentrification in Birmingham, UK
Over the last few years, my city has continued to undergo some drastic changes. From luxury apartments, food stores, John Lewis, and a tram system, Birmingham’s city centre is barely recognizable! Having the option to buy vegan hotdogs, or picking up a juice from Jo the Juice bar certainly beats the days of just Nando’s…
A reminder: You are not defined by your mistakes
You can’t keep holding yourself hostage to your previous wrongdoings. They do not define you but add character to your life’s story. You owe it to yourself to let go and forgive. You can’t beat yourself down about something you know better about now. That version of you no longer exists anymore. Whilst you have…
You’re too Sensitive!
If you’re sensitive you’re probably well accustomed to hearing phrases like “it’s not that deep” or “you take everything so personal”. This may be true! However for us sensitive folks it’s much more complex than just simply getting over ourselves. Deciphering between whether our emotional responses are valid verses taking things too seriously is very…
Think Piece: Wellness industries and Capitalism
I must confess that I’m a HUGE fan of all things self help. I often spend my mornings watching Lisa Nicols videos and looking at P’Diddy’s tweets to get me riled up (don’t come for my fav lol). On many occasions reading a self-help book made me feel powerful and installed faith in me…
Feeling Invisible and Overshadowed
In a world with so many huge personalities, it’s easy to feel overshadowed and invisible. This can cripple us into thinking we aren’t good enough or even worse, that hardly anyone cares about our existence. I just want to remind you that you are not alone. I believe that living in the shadows gives…
Seeking Validation from others
Everyone desires some form of validation. Being validated by others provides us with a sense of recognition, value, and belonging. Within a world that constantly reminds us that we aren’t good enough, positive validation helps with our emotional well-being and self-esteem. The lack of approval from our peers can often make us feel undervalued and…
The Ugly truth about Self-Love
There were no traumatic events that led me to depression but I felt at more times than once that I wasn’t going to survive my inner turmoil. It was through experiencing constant low moods and overwhelming thoughts of self-doubt that I decided embarked on a self- love journey. During this constant search I became easily…
My Trip to Haiti
Prior to visiting Haiti, I already had my own preconceived notions of the country. I knew about the history of its revolution, I knew about the earthquake. I had a rough idea that western NGO’s in Haiti have done a terrible job on development. However I did not anticipate that my experiences in Haiti would…