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“When we realise that our relationship breakdowns (platonic/ romantic) are mirrors to ourselves, we receive the lesson quicker so that the healing work can begin.”

– Ash Alves

One thing that I’ve been exploring recently is the notion that people are mirrors to ourselves. After reading the work of Debbie Ford, Iyanla Vanzant and Jung, I started to resonate with this perspective that people are mirrors. This perspective has transformed my perspective on life, making me more accepting of the wholeness of who I am- the loving, caring, intuitive, smart, spiritual me and also the jealous, controlling, lazy aspects of me.

What does ‘people are mirrors to ourselves’ mean? 

What you like and dislike in others is a direct reflection of you. Your perception of the world, the characteristics traits that you possess, your core wounds, your needs, desires, your likes and dislikes are all reflected through your interactions with others. Essentially people are mirrors to you means that there’s something to be learned about yourself in others.

An example of this can be seen in our friendships. You may be close friends with someone because you share similar interests in leisure and ways you access joy. Your friend is a mirror of your childlike desire to have fun and explore. Another example can be someone who’s an empath being in a relationship with a narcissist. Likewise, being an empath in a relationship with a narcissist can reflect your lack of boundaries and your need to use others to fill a void. People mirror to us either healed or unhealed aspects about ourselves.

Benefits of seeing people as mirrors:

You realise that not everything is personal- Instead of constantly pointing out the faults in others, you are more willing to focus on yourself. You begin to see that you can only control yourself. You will also realise that people are operating on different levels of consciousness and that oftentimes, people are treating you based on their own perceptions of life and their moral compass.

You realise your spiritual purpose- Every experience we go through, whether positive or negative exists to teach us a greater lesson about ourselves. The mission is to become our highest selves and make better decisions in this life. To become a fully integrated soul, we have to take an honest look at ourselves and take responsibility for the ways we show up in the world.

You will spend more time cultivating self-love- You will spend a lot less time trying to fix others and more about doing the work required to live a more satisfying life. By focusing on what we have to do personally, we become more equipped to deal with life challenges that arise.

With that being said, I am relatively new to exploring this perspective so my thoughts on this topic are subject to change. However, what I have currently learned has really changed my life in a positive way.

Question: What is your perspective on the phrase ‘people are mirrors’?

I am always open to expanding my perspective so I would love to hear your thoughts!

Love Ash, x